Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
