if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
