Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize