He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish i was in the wii world.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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