I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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