he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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