maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
