you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Randomize
