The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She bit a glass in half.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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