K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
