i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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