I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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