it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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