One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
