It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
