her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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