The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
