I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
