i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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