Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
