I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
