come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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