wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
