HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
