you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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