My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
