Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
