Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
