BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
