i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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