It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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