he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
