It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
