What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
