Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
