i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize