she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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