ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
