Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
