Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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