from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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