He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
should my penis look like a turkey
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
