they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
