The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
