so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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