I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
