3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
