God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
