party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
