At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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