Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's never too late to be topless.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
