his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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