the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
