He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
