so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
