turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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